U.

All of my words start with you, and all of my sentences end with you. If I could turn you into poetry I would; 

With my lips

On your skin

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Piece by peace 

A lot can happen in a year,In fact a whole entire lifetime can happen in a year.

Change, and growth and beauty.

You can be a sad girl under a pink December sky, who unknowingly is being photographed by that one person who is going to change you forever.

A year later and you’re different, under the same sky but it all changed. The sadness still lingers, but it’s different now. It’s not as lonely. The world isn’t that dark place it used to be, the cold isn’t bitter any more. Life is still, and the sad girl has a hint of fulfilment in her eyes. 

Reflecting back, she found a piece of her soul in that december sky, 

Maybe even her peace.

The Haunting

That fear sits in my chest, heavy like an anchor. It’s been there for as long as I can remember. He instilled it into me at a young age, and I’ve held onto it. And my old friends reminded me why I feared it when they left and didn’t say goodbye. And again when suicide called your name and you followed it. And again when I sit at home by myself tracing old wounds, 

or at work, 

or anywhere in the world. 

It’s permanent, and it screams at me, at everyone around me, “They’ll leave. They always do.” Sometimes before they leave, I’ll leave, and I’ll put that fear into someone else and burn it under their skin and make them howl at night when it stings the most.

 It always stings the most. 

Everyone forgets to tell you how real these “abandonment issues” are and until you’re the one screaming at your brain, you won’t understand.